Children crave love. If they're not getting love, then they cannot develop properly. There are many Latter-day prophets who emphasize the importance of showing love and not using corporal punishment. One such prophet is Brigham Young.
Brigham Young observed his children enough to know that they had their own personalities, including disposition and temperament. When we can accept our children for who they are, we will learn to be compassionate and help them overcome their challenges. We can help them learn and truly love them.
Let your children guide you and they will show your their interests, their struggles, and the things they need to practice. Some children need practice with their tempers. Others need to learn the value of work and how to become a hard worker. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all parenting method.
Some examples of temperament are:
1. Sensory threshold (How much stimulation will get a response? What is too much for the child to process?)
2. Activity level (Are they calm or active? An active child may need a ball to bounce on while doing homework, or more breaks during school.)
3. Intensity (How reactive is the child's response to various things? How much emotion will they express when they're happy, sad, overwhelmed or angry?)
4. Rhythmicity (Can you predict your child's hunger, sleep cycles, and bathroom habits?)
5. Adaptability (How easily will your child handle change and transitions?)
6. Mood (Is your child happy, serious, sad, or grumpy?)
7. Approach/withdrawal (How will your child handle new places, people and situations?)
8. Persistence (Will your child keep trying hard things or give up?)
9. Distractibility (Will your child be easily distracted or able to tune out background noise to concentrate and complete tasks?)
There are things we can do to help each of these types of temperament.
1. Sensory threshold: If they have trouble processing noise we can look for activities that are quieter.
2. Activity level: If they are an active child we can put them in a sport that is physically exhausting, like water polo.
3. Intensity: If they have inappropriate expressions of emotions we can help them to process those emotions in an acceptable way.
4. Rhythmicity: If we know they will be hungry first thing in the morning we can have some fruit prepared the night before so set up the family for a good morning.
5. Adaptability: If we know the child will throw a tantrum when it's time to leave a friend's house we can arrive 5-10 minutes early to give a warning and visit with the other parent.
6. Mood: If the child is a naturally grumpy child we can find an outlet to help them process difficult situations so they can accept and move on.
7. Approach/withdrawal: If a new event is coming up, like a dentist appointment, you can read books about and watch videos about the event, to help him feel more comfortable.
8. Persistence: We can praise the child's efforts and not the natural ability. This will encourage a growth mindset.
9. Distractibility: We can help them find a quiet place to do homework or other projects.
Gordon B. Hinkley spoke out against corporal punishment being used to discipline children.
The
American Psychological Association agrees that there is “lasting harm for
children.” It has been found that spanking children causes them to change how
the child thinks and feels. It is also very likely that parents can lose their
temper and hurt the child more than they intended to, or more than they ever would if they were calm. It is a dangerous behavior to allow imperfect mortals
to practice. Studies disprove how many
people were brought up, and hopefully this helps them so they don’t continue the tradition with their own
children.
The same prophet also spoke about parenting with love:
There is an article called “Moving from Fear-Based to Love-Based Parenting” by The Ark Group, which talks about how
unconditional love is a motivating factor for children as they learn to follow
their parents’ examples. Children are more likely to want to listen and learn
from a loving parent, when a strong relationship is established, than a scary
parent who gives punishments and harsh words.
Carotta, C. C. (2018). Temperament:
What is it and why is it important? boystownhospital.org. Retrieved
September 21, 2021, from
https://www.boystownhospital.org/knowledge-center/temperament-whis-it-why-is-it-important.
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